Beautiful Fractures and The Night I’ll Never Forget…

Beautiful Fractures is a fine art series derived from the RAW emotional, transformational, trauma of life’s turning points. The moments when life stops you, makes you question everything and you have to make big pivots. It’s about the growing pains of becoming the person you are supposed to be. To get to the other side of the pain you have to move through it, feel it, embrace it and let it transform you.

Beautiful fractures depicts the RAW emotions we face through loss, over coming something personal, fighting for your life, enduring, becoming…whatever journey you’re on we work together to capture, discover, move through and process it.

Beautiful fracture sessions are the branch off from the starting over session. There are light and dark aspects to going through any trauma or becoming someone new. We work together to discover, move through and process what piece you want to focus on.

Some want to depict themselves as warriors while others want a fine art piece that reflects the pain and suffering they went through to always remember their strength. Remembering is painful but it’s also a necessity in continuing to move forward. It’s not about staying in it but acknowledging and embracing the good things that came from all the pain.

Beautiful fracture sessions are for individuals that want to get creative, love to collaborate, are coming into their own and want to shout it from the rooftops. The images can be fine art pieces for your space or digital reminders in your phone.

The Real Story Behind Beautiful Fractures…

I created beautiful fractures out of the visions and feelings I was swimming through in my journey through divorce. Granted not every divorce is brutal, shocking or sad. Some are completely freeing and better for all parties involved. However, my personal journey was anything but freeing (so I thought at the time).  I’m post 2 years and I can now publicly talk about it without crumbling to the floor in tears and my hope is that I can be a beacon of light for another soul that is drifting in the kind of dark I was in (luckily it’s not 2020 anymore).

The last two years of healing have been a complete mix of psych ward patient in the basement to I’ve never felt more aligned and spiritual in my life. With any trauma or tragedy it violently shoves you into looking at yourself, relationships, spiritualness, career…all the things with a microscope (those that want to grow anyway). One minute felt as though I was frozen and drifting nowhere to running at full speed and feeling a little out of control. I couldn’t see two inches in front of me. The pages to my life, my next day, my next minute were literally like being in the matrix loading program. I was just sitting there waiting for the next thing to arrive and show me how to get out. How do I move forward from this? How do I get out of this unbearable pain?

My mind was not ready to take on what was happening and being a mom to such young kids I had to hold it together for fractions of time that felt like eternity. I was on autopilot survival mode this first half of 2020 which turned into white knuckling it the 2nd half…holding on to dear life trying not to fall into the black hole in my bedroom. Tuning into myself and intuition like never before was not only hard, but the thing I had been missing and didn’t know I needed. 

I didn’t want to wake up, I didn’t want to deal with the pain every morning when I would come to and realized that it was real life and not just a nightmare. It felt like Groundhogs Day…everything kept looping. The conversations, thoughts, betrayal, shame, embarrassment, this vision I had of our family was shattered. When you’ve had your heart ripped out or suffer loss the body has a way of physically making you drop to your knees. It makes you sit with it. My children, friends and family were my saviors. They got me out of bed in the beginning and I thank them every day for pulling me out of my darkness and giving my brain a break from ruminating about the epic life change I was about to walk.

It took a little over 2 months for my body to come around, my brain fog to depart and the feeling of being physically ill to pass. When my physical stuff subsided I then had to deal with the overwhelming amount of garbage thoughts to sift through and a daredevil attitude that is both freeing but slightly scary. It was so hard to navigate and distinguish what was my own voice, head trash or others influence at the time. I came to realize I had quieted and dismissed my own feelings for so long I didn’t really trust my own thoughts. Slowly but surely a lot of the thoughts and dreams I did have were so validated and RIGHT that I started to trust in myself again. So I made a promise to myself I would never quiet anything about my intuition (or creativity) again.

This art series is about healing, going back to my roots, remembering and plain and simple getting it out…the good bad and ugly.  A type of art therapy if you will. I believe this can be therapeutic for others if they’re open to it. So I’m following that intuition and offering it as a branch off of the family starting over sessions for new single parents. This session digs deep and is for the individuals who aren’t afraid of getting a little weird with me.